Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
