there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
