the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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