I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
