do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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