I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
