I cockslap morals
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
