do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
