member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
