Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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