Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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