Non-Jews are for practice
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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