How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
