In America we eat man semen.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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