and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
