dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
