Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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