Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
