I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
