Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
