Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
