I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
worst night to have a conscience
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
tell me about the eggs
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
