it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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