i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
