let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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