wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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