I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
