Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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