Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize