how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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