with your own penis?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
