I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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