im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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