Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
