Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
