I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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