sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
