he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
