another moral hangover. fuck.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
