i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
