Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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