i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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