Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
