I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
