he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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