How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
