dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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