Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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