We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
