Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
