i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
