I want to stick my p in your. b.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
