Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
